April 30, 2005
It's Saturday ME-night.Your Brain is 53.33% Female, 46.67% Male |
Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve |
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Your #1 Match: ISFJ |
The Nurturer You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal. A good listener, you excell at helping others in practical ways. In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music. You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for. You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist. |
Your #2 Match: INFJ |
The Protector You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity. Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is. You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience. You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them. You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher. |
Your #3 Match: ISTJ |
The Duty Fulfiller You are responsible, reliable, and hardworking - you get the job done. You prefer productive hobbies, like woodworking or knittings. Quiet and serious, you are well prepared for whatever life hands you. Conservative and down-to-earth, you hardly ever do anything crazy. You would make a great business executive, accountant, or lawyer. |
Your #4 Match: INTJ |
The Scientist You have a head for ideas - and you are good at improving systems. Logical and strategic, you prefer for everything in your life to be organized. You tend to be a bit skeptical. You're both critical of yourself and of others. Independent and stubborn, you tend to only befriend those who are a lot like you. You would make an excellent scientist, engineer, or programmer. |
Your #5 Match: ISFP |
The Artist You are a gifted artist or musician (though your talents may be dormant right now). You enjoy spending your free time in nature, and you are good with animals and children. Simply put, you enjoy bueaty in all its forms and live for the simple pleasures in life. Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate - you are good at recognizing people's unspoken needs. You would make a good veterinarian, pediatrician, or composer. |
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You Are 40% Normal (Somewhat Normal) |
 While some of your behavior is quite normal... Other things you do are downright strange You've got a little of your freak going on But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself |
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Your Seduction Style: The Coquette |
 You are a pro at playing the age old game of hard to get. Your flirting style runs hot and cold, giving just enough to keep them chasing you. Independent and self-sufficient, you don't need any one person to make you compelte. And that independence is exactly what makes people pursue you. |
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Your Love Style is Storge |
 For you, love and friendship are almost the same thing And your love tends to be the enduring, long lasting kind (You've been known to still have connections with exes) But sometimes your love is not the most passionate Leap before you look, and you'll find that fire you crave |
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You Are A Good Friend |
 You're always willing to listen Or lend a shoulder to cry on You're there through thick and thin Many people consider you their "best friend"! |
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You Are Pretty Logical |
 (You got 63% of the questions right) You're a bit of a wizard when it comes to logic While you don't have perfect logic, you logic is pretty darn good Keep at it - you've got a lot of natural talent in this area! |
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You Are A Romantic Realist |
You are more romantic than 30% of the population.  You tend to be grounded when it comes to romance. Sure, you can fall hard... but only for someone you've gotten to know. And once you're in love, you can be a total romantic goofball... But you'd never admit it to your friends! |
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You Are a Pundit Blogger! |
 Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read. Truly appreciated by many, surpassed by only a few. |
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 22:28
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April 28, 2005
A thing of the past recapturedWhere I work, every Wednesday is what we call 'Staff games day'. A group of us would either play badminton or captain's ball or frisbee or basically, any form of sports that is do-able.
I usually can't stay for it cos Wednesdays are my tuition days. However, I stayed yesterday to play. It was basketball, Captain's ball and frisbee yesterday. For about 2 hours, we sweated it out at the school basketball court.
I used to be a basketball player in my Pri 6 - Sec 4 days. I was in the school basket ball team in my secondary school. hehe... this comes to most friends as a surprise. hello?!?!
I used to play basketball every Saturday and Sunday afternoons at the community club near where I used to live. My first real crush occurred during one basketball session when my friends brought along her cousin. He was very cute. =P
Basketball makes up a rather important part of my growing up from a kid to a teenager. It's something that I had sustained interest in during the confusing stage from a kid to a teenager.
'Gorilla', 'Rebound', 'slam', 'Air ball', 'Silent ball', 'angle', 'cut', 'intercept', '1-on-1', 'full court'. 'half court', 'Long distance', 'lay-up', 'red box', 'foul', 'no jump', 'guard', 'Pri 1-6', 'Secondary', 'free throw', '3 point', etc... The terms very familiar to me from then.
I enjoyed the game a lot yesterday. Even though I must have came across as super cool and bored yesterday when I was shooting the basket. I was truly complimented when Delly said I was fierce competition. haha.. I sorta forgot I could run and steal the ball under someone's eyes until yesterday. It felt extremely shiok! So does the aching back thigh that I'm having now. Shiok to feel aches when you know the aches are from a good work out. = )
Plus, I feel more in shape (notice the use of the word 'feel'), and since I'm sleeping earlier and drinking more milk (conscious decision after I thought about my bone mass and my weight), more alert and heathier.
Happier? Don't know. But Evon just asked if I'm ok with things in school yesterday. When I told her she was beginning to sound like cute VP, she said she's concerned... Hmm, it says something about yourself when people around you at work start asking if you are all right a few times everyday.
So, is there something that I should know and don't yet? As for the rest of you, pls don't join in the my 'Are you OK?' gang. I'm trying to figure it out already.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 10:09
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April 27, 2005
She went. She saw. She conquered.I went rock-climbing today. With Annie and Co. Kay came along.
I'm so very proud of her! She went, she saw and, under some pressure and coaxing, she conquered. She climbed... 3 walls, I think. She can beam with pride as she slips into slumber presently.
As for me, my arms, especially my right one, are aching! I did 4 walls today. One of which took me what felt like ages... hanging there while my 'coach' gave suggestions from beneath. But, kinda nice to hang in the air, literally. Good workout. = )
xxx
What I didn't spell out...
was that even though I'm sleeping earlier these days, I do miss talking to you. I guess that's a trade-off. Would you believe me if I said I miss your lame-cold humour and unique English?
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The $7 skirt.
Got me more attention than I wanted/needed. I'm not a dancer. I look like one, maybe. That must be why I was chosen to act as the ballet dancer in the Charades game during student contact time.
He said 'Graceful like a swan'. Huh? What swans? Swans don't climb rock walls. There's more to it than the skirt meets the eye.
Enough of this nonsense.
xxx
In the end, I washed my hair. That's why I'm blogging here, even though my body is asleep.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 00:08
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April 25, 2005
Lux. Super Not So Rich.I merely looked a bit dazed and tired. I merely sounded kinder than usual. I merely asked if I should wash my hair today. She asked me, I didn't count how many times, if I'm OK and if I'm sure I'm OK when I said I was.
She thinks I'm behaving weird today, and more bimbotic than usual. She said I'm easier-going and more adorable who I was today. But, she said she preferred the sarcastic and mean me.
I wonder, why don't people love that 40% of me. It's not like I'm often like that, anyway. Or maybe most people are just more comfortable with the 60% of me, 70% of the time. Hey, give me a chance to be a xiao nuu ren lah... bloody hell.. Opps, excuse me.
I washed my hair in the end.
xxx
My little black cardigan.
Among my possessions, there is a black cardigan that I'm quite afraid of losing. Even though that is not very likely to happen. I'm scared of losing it or spoiling it because it gives me an exceptionally secure feeling whenever I wear it.
If cardigans are supposed to make you feel warm and fuzzy, my little black cardigan has surpassed that expectation; it makes me feel I'm being hugged.
I bought it in my younger Uni days. There was a time I was quite obsessed with it because I realised that in the loneliness of cold bus rides to campus on rainy mornings, the cardigan made me felt hugged and warm. It was a lovely feeling. I would bring it every schooling day and on days when it was less cold, I would just wear the sleeves or drape it around my shoulder. Until I realised I was breaking out in sweat. hehe...
Presently, my little black cardigan is in school. On my chair, at my workdesk. I brought it there even though the air con in the staff room is absolutely tolerable. I just wanted the knowledge that if I do feel cold, and in need of a hug, my little black cardigan would do the perfect job.
Absolutely self-sufficient.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 19:15
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April 24, 2005
je pense, donc je suis celibataireThank you, Shaohao! hee..
Shaohao's been teaching me a few French phrases here and there when he's online and using some French nic. It's quite fun, him trying to spell out the syllables and me trying to say it out.
This one means 'I think, therefore I'm single.'
He said I copied his idea. Well, he copied his from Descartes.
xxx
Except, I can't really help it.
Happiness for another is often mixed with disappointment for oneself. And, to let disappointment go for the sake of a greater happiness is something that requires often practice. I can't really help it if such is my lesson to be learnt.
I try to believe it's better this way. There's always more to find out and I hope, time to find out more. Even though there're so many things I could have told you.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 22:48
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From the woods."You���re obliged to pretend respect for people and institutions you think absurd. You live attached in a cowardly fashion to moral and social conventions you despise, condemn, and know lack all foundation.
It is that permanent contradiction between your ideas and desires and all the dead formalities and vain pretenses of your civilization which makes you sad, troubled and unbalanced. In that intolerable conflict you lose all joy of life and all feeling of personality, because at every moment they suppress and restrain and check the free play of your powers.
That���s the poisoned and mortal wound of the civilized world."
- Octave Mirbeau
Got it. Thanks, Erywen. ^^
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 22:36
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Circle.I caught up with the gerz on Saturday night. We had crabs for dinner. Yummy~ The quite famous one near my house, that used to be in Serangoon. Then, we bought titbits and drinks and went to East Coast Park to chat.
Hearing them talk, complain about their jobs made me feel fortunate in where I am - supportive culture, reasonable leadership, totally positive working environment (save for a few moments everyday when I feel like throttling some screaming kid's throat). Of course, every workplace must have its fair share of shit. That's what D would always say about 'perfect organisation being imperfect once we step into it.. blahblah..'. hee But, hey, relatively speaking, I'm having quite a good deal in terms of culture and enviroment. And well, I seem to be able to cope with my workload pretty well so far. So, maybe I should stop entertaining negative thoughts regarding my job.
But, the cute VP just spoke to me on Friday. She asked how are things on my side cos she noticed that I'm less cheerful now as I used to be. She suggested for me to talk to her if there's anything at all, to have a little chat with her before I have a melt-down myself. And all along, I went 'Is it? No lah...' and smiled a lot more.
xxx
And circle.
Anna and Ade said that it's quite difficult cos the basic assumption, when you are seeing someone, is that you will spend the weekend with that someone, unless notified otherwise in advance. So, your own social circle becomes inevitably intertwined with someone else's and your time is not exactly your time anymore and as a result, you do less things for yourself, less things with your own friends, more compromise to the other person's schedule and more sighs at last minute appointments which you either can't refuse or can't tag along.
All these, as far as we can see, make unhappy girlfriends.
So, I put forth a suggestion. Why don't they make the opposite assumption? That they will not be spending the weekend with their partner unless notified otherwise. Then, there's more personal space to arrange for your own appointments, right? Do I sound like I've never been in a relationship?
I have been. And I am in one. I always assume I'd at least meet Wenn once on every weekend. The difference is, when it doesn't happen, I'm happy spending the weekend alone too. That means, I'm probably happy anyway. That means, either I'm in denial or I'm a simpler girl to date. hmm? haha
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 21:57
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April 22, 2005
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Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 22:38
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April 21, 2005
Some comfort in some impossibilityIn Wenn's point of view, the fit was more interesting than comfortable for every one of those men I was dating (on and off, now more off). She said only one came close - the one that I was not dating and never had the chance to date. He has a girlfriend.
She thinks he's a worthy benchmark and that I ought be thankful I have one this worthy. I'm not sure if those are words of comfort. But, I smiled as I was reading her smses.
I miss his intelligence, wit and self-inflated ego. His blur-sheepish smile and the raised eyebrows, his expression when he is in thought and his initiative in reciprocating ego-boosters. I miss his friendship, actually.
Let's further our studies together, if we have a chance, Knight! ^^
xxx
Could it be?
I'm falling sick again? So soon? Hey, cannot lah. Too ridiculous. But, I've been sneezing the past 2 days and now, my nose is runny. I need to sleep.
xxx
Because I look capable?
Cute VP mentioned that they thought it's time to stretch me. Can I remind them that there is a rule about the limit of elasticity?
If I didn't have to spend 5 x 1.5 hours (excluding travelling time) per week on tuition to supplement my income, I guess I wouldn't mind seeing my name on places that should belong to full teachers.
It's more than a matter of status and work culture. It's also a bit about what each of us has different personal goals and priorities towards our work/career. There is a grey area there, where I can dance on. But, recently, I find myself dancing barefooted on ice.
Thankfully, I've colleagues who are like my hand rails in the rink.
xxx
A terrible discovery
Is Secret Recipe. The cafe-restaurant. The best cheesecakes in town (IMHO).
This month, till date: 3 cheese cakes, 2 ice-cream treats, many smoothies and blends, many snacks. I'm gonna make people, who start thinking about d-i-e-t soon as they gobble down a cheese cake, very angry.
But, I'm sure thin may not be healthy. Take heart. Just like I'm sure my bank account is not healthy at all now. sigh... Why is the last week to getting the paycheck especially long?
Last but hardly the least, a terrible companion for all these treats... The silly cute peas in a pod, who has feet so small I still find it amusing.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 22:15
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April 19, 2005
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Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:14
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April 17, 2005
Why did the third Little Pig build the house with bricks?Because he couldn't find stainless steel.
The first door was probably just glass. Cheap glass.
Then, plastic.
Then, aluminium.
Then, iron.
Then, stainless steel.
Break that steel door down and basically, there's nothing else to stop you. It's a whole new world. Believe it or not. Unfortunately, time is running out.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:51
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I thought you said nothing new to talk about...hehe... One thing led to another and very soon, she was telling her all that she said. She kept asking if she knows what she wants and that that is the most important thing. She did, she knew.
Case closed. We will talk about it and then, we will forget it. Just like how we eventually came to forget most things that we said.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:00
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Exercise some distance; practise some spaceI either realised or was reminded of something yesterday. I can't decide if I realise it or got reminded because it's something that I seem to know all along but yet, it feels like something new too. Man, when one feels this way about any thing, it pretty much means their brains'r pretty messed up ya?
Anyway, I think that it's kinda sad that we often pass judgement on someone based on their behaviour and their many point of many views and then jump to our own conclusion about what this person is like. When we start jumping to our conclusions about someone, we basically don't give ourselves a chance to know them fully, do we?
Then, we act according to our constructed image of this person, making more assumptions about this person than we really should. And somewhere in the process, we find ourselves not knowing who this person is anymore. Especially when he/she begins to deviate from our image of who he/she is. So, is that one of the reasons why couples break up and tell each other things like 'people do change, feelings do change'?
Maybe that person didn't change at all. It's just that we didn't take the time and give ourselves more distance, more space to really know someone before we jump to our own conclusion.
Are we so anxious to put some labels on a person so that we know how to respond to that person that it doesn't quite matter anymore if the labels are not quite the truth about that person? Or maybe, not the whole truth. It was a painful fall from loving an inaccurate image to accepting that the image is not the person.
I'm still guilty of it. But, on my part, I already started reminding myself that defending one's opinion is not quite the same as defending oneself. And attacking another's opinion is not quite the same as attacking another.
'More distance, less haste.' That's what the FD says every morning on Class95. hee
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 22:37
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April 16, 2005
I'm ready to laugh if you crash.My com is unstable, pretty much like the mental and psychological state of one of its users, i.e. me. It's unstable cos the RAM is caught up with a lot of silly processes which I can't seem to terminate. Hey, I've got more similarities with my com than I thought!
xxx
What's Her Majesty's problem?
When I hang out with Apple and Wenn, it sometimes feel funny that the FB is using more of that word than me. After all, aren't I the queen? But, I just heard that she's been crowned princess. Princess FB.
Then, as I read my own posts in this blog, and inevitably compared it with what I wrote earlier last year, the question then became 'What happened?'
I haven't been using the word 'suppressed' to describe my work and/or my life for a long time. It is but it's forgotten or it's not? Or maybe I'm just becoming a better fit with my parents' mould of a teacher. Specifically my Dad's. Never take a Dad's opinion on your fashion style too seriously.
Now, someone tell me... what the fuck is happening? Ahh... feel better already!
xxx
Die rich
Saw my F.A yesterday for our 2nd appointment. She showed me the report and the analysis from my financial assessment during the 1st appointment. The figures were potentially heart-breaking. Luckily, all that was on my mind was 'Man, I don't want to live THAT long...' and so, I probably was only half affected as I should be.
I'm guilty of giving fake numbers in all those questionaires that were shoved into my face along Orchard Road by people who promised to only take up 2 minutes of my time. But, I have to admit that having someone review my financial goals, personal concerns and priorities, and most important, knowing exactly how much I am worth now (monetary sense) and making recommendations to maximise my assets and resources to meet my needs and goals makes me feel better and more in control of my life. At least, for now.
At least, I know the money held up in my CPF can work to my advantage immediately too while I continue to slog. Talking about it, I really am looking forward to meeting up with my leadership for my development plan.
xxx
A new life at 30.
5 more years... well, 5 years and 5 months. Meanwhile, the butterfly is frozen in time.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 13:30
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April 13, 2005
She looks at me from aboveThe desktop wallpaper I have on my assigned computer at work is a picture of Galadriel, looking down at something (like all my boring desktop icons). The background is this 'misty' blue gradually fading into white. I got it from the internet when I was killing time at work yesterday.
I love it.
xxx
Roll, Pussy cat, roll!
We had Thai-Chinese food at Liang Seah Street. Frankly, it's not fantastic. Especially not when I ended up being the one expected to finish 2 servings of fried Kailan and half a bowl of Tom Yam soup (which was quite crap) when my two companions thought they had their fill. I only wish people stop having the impression that I eat very little cos of my size. It's just not fair to the rest of those eat-and-get-fat people out there.
Then, we went to Beavers for drinks. Annie and I were really full by then. Ya, right. Both of us finished a basket of popcorn (it's complimentary, like the basket of peanuts) while sipping occasionally on our Virgin Margarita (1 of the 3 kinds of Margarita on the menu), whose price got us all a bit confused. In the process of emptying that basket, of course, both of us did go 'Oh man, and I thought I was full...', but we didn't stop reaching for the popcorn basket. And, since I'm at this, can I push the blame to Snow? He was the one who quite straight-facedly told us we can have popcorn, besides the peanuts. And HE was the one who told the lady boss (with whom he seemed to know quite well.. as with the barmaids... hmm) to bring us some. And HE was the one who sat by and did nothing while we popped the popcorn routinely into our mouth. He didn't even make it easier for us by sharing it with us.
We walked the grounds of Casino in Sg, KDF charity shows, China-Jap relations, stupid celebrities who give their children names they would grow up wanting to change, mood swings, cradle snatchers, and of course, pussy cats.
Nice pussy cats... I love nice and kind pussy cats... *meow*
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 07:29
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April 11, 2005
Red AlertI spent a whole hour reading on bed this rainy and cooling afternoon. I went to the national library to borrow some books, after being done with the stuff I needed to do for work. Sheer luxury. If this kind of weather continues, I'm quite sure I'd be able to finish more reading and watch more stupid comedy VCDs.
xxx
I repeat, Red Alert
Sometimes you walk away from a part of the past, thinking you have gotten the best you can out of it and that you are a much better person because of that. Only to find that perhaps, that is only your way of coping with what happened and has nothing to do with whether you are a better person now.
The more you try to get out of it, the more truths you seem to be hiding. It's like... thinking you know a game really well, only to realise that you are only playing to avoid losing and there seems to be no known way to win.
It scares me. To suddenly remember that something like this has happened before. Not very long before. Honestly, I don't think I like it. I'm just trying to convince myself that I'm fine with it.
At the end of the day, who are we trying to kid?
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 22:26
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April 10, 2005
At LengthAt least, that's what my SOW says I should be teaching now. That's for Maths. I'm doing a topic on Fishes this term for Discovery Skills. I think we would either throw a party or do up a magazine for Project Skills. That will render my SOW for I.T to be on doing research with the internet.
Is this lesson planning? I wish. Cos I can never get down to doing planning during the weekends at home. Sheesh...
Now, lemme go at it again...
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 20:45
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cal路cu路la路tive -The act, process, or result of calculating.
An estimate based on probabilities.
Careful, often cunning estimation and planning of likely outcomes, especially to advance one's own interests.
When I used that, what I meant was I cherish my blessings and count them carefully. And I try to always advance them for my own interest, specifically, to know that I'm a lucky girl.
I'm more self-invested than I look.
xxx
Family picnic at Choa Chu Kang
Every year, around this time of the year, we set off at 6.30am, in 4 cars, 3 from Ang Mo Kio and 1 from Choa Chu Kang. The trip felt longer when I was younger than now. 4 cars, 4 boots of joss-sticks, joss papers, fruits, snacks (like Chinese pastry, buns, bao), fried bee hoon and fried noodles, finger food (like gyoza, fried wanton, vegetarian mock chicken, Ngoh hiang) and coffee, tea, herbal drink. Oh, you name it!
One car boot for all the food that's been 'ritualised' and ready for human consumption. Paper plates and disposable chopsticks being passed around. My mum even brought the condiments for the gyoza, the vinegar, the ginger shreds, red cut chilli, sambal belacan for the noodle. Mrs. thought-of-it-all-have-it-all 2005 Award is hers, with the first runner-up being my Big Aunt (free flow of chilled herbal drinks, coffee, and Lipton tea to go around).
Hanging out with my cousins, in recent years, only serves to remind me of my age(ing). Why do I keep having the impression that they are much younger when in fact, they will be celebrating their 21st birthdays consecutively in the coming few years? An event that feels too long ago for me.
The weather is always (too) sunny, but with food like that, standing around with aunts and uncles and many, many cousins, eating, chatting, there is something quite heart-warming about Qing Ming Festival.
And we found the perfect retirement job for my 4th Uncle - a sai1 gong1.
xxx
A love affair with passion
Wenn and I sat there, looking at the menu of Bakerzin, thinking whether it would be better to shift to Coffee Club. In the end, the deciding factors were that the cakes at Bakerzin, though pretty, didn't scream out to me and I wouldn't pay $11 for a waffle with strawberry ice-cream, no matter how loudly it screamed out to me. And the drinks menu was quite boring.
Hence, I rekindled my love affair with my Ice passion.
xxx
Look left, look right
Our paths could so easily not meet. I like to gaze into quietness from the bustling city; you prefer gazing at the bustle a distance from the quieter village.
I said before you can be quite perceptive when you want to be. Yes, I'm fascinated by the dangerous and my fear but only if I know I'm within the protective arms of my comfort ground. I love ironies (which kinda explains my love affair with Iced Passion).
I'm an irony myself. My memory tells me that you said that is the reason why you thought I'm alluring.
= p
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 19:52
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April 07, 2005
A year in, where? Anus?So, with or without the girl with the silly giggles, we are meeting on Tuesday. OK? My appetite is strangely on very good form recently (prime suspect: PMS). If it stays that way, let's hit Rice Table? If it doesn't, or if Vitamin M is sorely lacking, how about just Burger King? hehe...
xxx
I did the change by not changing it.
What about the comments section? What change? You are not thinking properly.
xxx
Suicide in Ivory Tower
My msn nic today. I decided to put an end to my Butterfly in Substance Series. Not cos I sympathised with the poor butterfly being put in so many different substances (some more gross than others). I don't have much sympathy for a nic, unlike Shaohao, hee... who often either laughs or feels sorry for the poor butterfly when he sees me online. It has to end cos I'm getting bored with the things I'm putting the butterfly to swim in.
A number of friends asked if I like butterflies ever since I put up that series of nicknames. Actually, yes and no. I like my image of a butterfly but I will most likely give a framed specimen of an extinct most beautiful butterfly to someone I don't like as a birthday present IF I ever get that as my birthday present.
My image of a butterfly is quite a sadly-romantic one. I got this impression and this construction from a TV series that I watched when Mediacorp was still known as SBC. It's this show called '杩风�诲��'. I don't remember the storyline, honestly. But I remember it was a very ���缇� story. I was quite hooked on it.
Hence, ya, I've this fascination with butterflies, even though I don't particularly like buttterflies, per se.
Anyway, I've released the butterfly from its 18 (and more) levels of Hell. And I'm thinking of some new series for my msn nic. Sometimes, I wonder why do I bother... Meanwhile, there is 'suicide in the ivory tower.'
xxx
I will live on my happiness than on my dreams
I didn't want to be reminded of how dreams can get more and more distant as age gets more and more. Certain dreams may be better staying that way. Maybe not. But, there is some lack of control in some aspects of life. So, where would you go from there? It depresses me in some ways. Just to learn, with time, that some dreams are only beautiful because they are dreams.
Live on the smaller happiness of everyday life. It's nearer to hold, faster to fulfill. Like putting down the phone and going to bed and then, realising that 'hey! It's not even 12am yet!' Cool~
I appreciate it, dear. I know I don't have to mention it (again) but I want to. And I usually get to do things I want to, right? hee
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 17:07
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April 04, 2005
Can I have a glass of Love, on the rocks, please?How about we mix some of relationship with 7-Up or orange juice or Ribena, instead of one on the rocks?
xxx
Hurt. Cherry. GRE.
Take it in your stride, mate. Keep your sense of humor, regardless of how lousy that is. Hey, I'm already looking forward to your birthday BBQ, for some reason. Does it say how much you mean to me? *flutters eyelashes
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 22:12
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April 03, 2005
Who's too stupid to be a fool?I slept at 12.30am last night, a Saturday night. hehe... Funny how I am actually so proud of that, I told my Mum, sisters and a few friends about it. I don't even sleep that early on a weekday night.
I woke up 9.30am this morning. Sheer happiness.
Happiness can be sleeping early and waking up because you want to, and not 'cos you have to.
Shall we try to give each other this sort of happiness more often?
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:02
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Romantic-impairedThe TV happens to be on now. Cos my sister, with her pale blue face-masque, seems to be watching the programme. It's the show starring Takeshi and Gigi Leung, the one that goes 'Turn left, turn right'. My sister asked if they ended up together, cos for some reason, she assumed I watched the movie before. I told her I don't watch such movies.
Honestly, I think the 'romantic part' is stupid and the 'stupid part' is quite funny. Except, I didn't even stay around long enough to catch any 'stupid part'. I mean, duh! Two persons staying next door to each other and never bumping into each other because one turns right upon exit and the other left? How dumb is that? When they finally found each other, to put an end to this so-dumb missing out game, it's because the walls between their flats sorta collapsed. That, I think, would be the final straw. If I had watched it in the theatre, I would have shook my head in disbelief all the way from the seat to the exit. Luckily, I didn't.
I watched Ms Congeniality 2. hehe... It has been a long time since I watched any movie by myself. And I smiled all the way from the seat to the exit. Stupid show? At least, it was funny.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 22:49
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April 02, 2005
Fall in love this wayLike this romantic morning. Morning rain. Cloudy skies. Very, very cooling weather. It's been a long time since I woke up, refreshed, on a weekend morning and had a decent breakfast, watched some TV, did some reading, all in the quietness of my house. Parents and sisters out. Even Hugo is out.
Came across this on TV just now:
杩� ��� ��� ��� ���锛�浣� 璇� ��� 娌� ��� 浜� ��� 瀹讹�� 杩� ��� ��� 浜�锛�浣� 璇� ��� ��� 浜� ��� 瀹躲��
What do we really want? Some companionship or some freedom? How much of one can we compromise for the other?
What do I really want? Someone to come home to or some personal sanctuary to leave someone for?
I'm going really, really slow for the book I'm reading now. I just finished the chapter on Marxism (in love). Very interesting, very true. Self-hatred and self-love. Which end am I at?
Meanwhile, I still hear the rain outside. Ahh, what a romantic morning!